(BTS) A MAN CRYING AT THE MOON
by R0zes743
Summary: Tae is grieving his long lost first love until he meets a little boy in the middle of the night. A strong friendship quickly begins between the two boys as we discover Tae's dark past as he narrates his life as if in a fairy tale that didn't meet it's happy ending. But what if the best had yet to come? TAEKOOK!
1. Chapter 1

**A man crying at the moon**

The man was staring at the sky, his eyes an endless pit. Tears stroll down his cheeks as he glared at millions of shining stars illuminating the entirety of the endless sky. The moon on her part hid herself as always in the shadows. Even though he perceived her as a perfectly round sphere, Tae knew, deep down, that the darkness surrounding the moon hid the numerous craters profaning her beauty and therefore giving the illusion of perfection. He couldn't help but stare and wish it would be that easy to hide his own scars, but somehow, these types of miracles weren't made to be granted.

Getting lost in the immensity of the night, Tae noticed how the little jewel shaped lights swept position to form a familiar face he rather had forgotten. Wiping his wet and puffy eyes, the snot already covering the black sleeves of his hoodie, he sighed noisily, finally deporting his gaze to the ground, too much of a coward to glare back at the angelic face issued from his own tortured imagination.

Memories crept from the back of his mind as he tried his best to push them back where he thought they belonged, in a dark corner where they wouldn't resurface.

Souvenirs of a sweet smile spreading from full lips he had so many times kissed without ever getting tired of it hit him hard. He remembered…

 _His first love._

The curve of his almond shaped eyes, their tantalizing darkness as they bore into his soul with one quick glance.

The roughness of his calloused hands. Hands that had more than once strolled the guitar strings late at night accompanied by that voice of his… Such a beautiful duo that even the stars could have fallen for him.

Hands that he still wished to hold even though these were the ones of a traitor.

He broke.

Sobbing didn't feel like enough. He wanted to rip open his rib cage and throw his throbbing and aching heart along with his pain and sufferance.

No. He felt more like holding its tiny shape in his trembling hands and crushed the life out of it. And that, ultimately in the hope of never succumbing to the burning passion that bit and devoured his entirety as he lay eyes upon him.

Or hear their synchronized heartbeats through numerous sleepless nights.

But most importantly the burns his tongue left on his as they kissed like no one ever had before.

Tae heard a resounding _tump_ as a small creature sat beside him, occupying the empty space left on the freezing bench he had sat on for most of the night.

"Mister, why are you crying?" said a little voice.

A tiny frame appeared in his peripheral vision. Judging by his height, the small boy was not older than six. His plump face was attacked by colonies of freckles that brought into light his deep blue eyes. The boy glared at him, part of his eyes shadowed by long black curls. A tentative smile rested upon his lips as his rosy cheeks contrasted with his pale skin.

Making sure his face was hidden, Tae tried to respond through choked sobs.

"What are you doing here alone in the middle of the night little one?" He answered evading his question as he addressed him a forced smile only perceptible by the glinting of his pearly white teeth.

"I like it when it's dark! And the sky is so beautiful" He said with glee as little sparkles of joy shone in his eyes.

 _Where the heck are his parents? It is dangerous for a kid to wander off in the middle of the night alone!_

"Aren't you even afraid of me? I don't think we've ever met before…" Tae responded

"Well, my mama and papa told me to never speak to strangers, but I don't recall them telling me not to talk to a crying stranger… And, you are very sad… And, I don't like to see people being unhappy, so please, don't be mean to me" The little one squeaked pleading.

He was so incredibly adorable.

Tae had always dreamed to have kids. Even though his sexual orientation didn't lead to biological parents on both part, he was still hoping someday he could raise adopted children as if they were his own.

Unfortunately, his projects didn't go as planned.

The toddler didn't seem scared at all and that certainly bothered him. He would probably change his point of view if he did see his face…

Silence had set upon themselves, even though it only lasted a short period of time.

"Mister, if I may ask, why is it you're sad?" The toddler inquired, curious.

Tae sighed.

"I loved someone once and it seems he didn't feel the same" Tae answered in a soft whisper.

"You loved a boy?" exclaimed the little one, in a tone Tae suspected was shock.

"Well, huh, yes" Tae stammered, feeling uncomfortable.

"Wah! Could I love a guy someday too? It sounds really cool!" The kiddo said in awe.

Tae somewhat reassured by his misinterpretation of the boy's reaction couldn't help but smile a real smile at such cuteness and innocence.

"When you grow older, you can choose whomever you like! Though, you might not want to love a boy anymore… In the future, you'll probably find that uncool actually…" Tae said a sheepish grin forming on his lips, slowly replaced by a sad thin line.

"But girls are so boring… Except my mama! She is the best!" the kiddo pouted.

"What is it you hate about girls?"

"They always play with Barbie and I'd prefer they use the firetrucks like me!"

"It's not all the girls that are the same. Some actually like to play with firetrucks you know!"

"But they always cry… Like my mama when papa told her he didn't love her…"

"What a horrible thing to say to your mama! Did he apologize?" Inquired Tae, not at all worried about the outcome.

Fights happened frequently… You just needed to deal with them quickly before it was too late…

Too late…

"Yes, and since then, my mama lives with another mister and my papa stays alone at his apartment." The kid answered.

Tae, felt bad for the kid at first, was it not for the blank expression he bore while talking about such a touchy matter.

"You must be very sad your parents aren't together anymore…" Tae answered softly.

"No, because I heard papa explaining that it wasn't mama's fault… But when he saw I was listening, he asked me to go to bed. I wanted to know why papa had stopped so suddenly to love mama, but he said I was too young to understand!" said the little kid frustrated.

"Your papa is probably right…"

"One day, he will tell me!" the kid continued, confident.

"But Mister, am I too young to understand your story? About that man you loved?" he added curious.

By the look on his face, Tae knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

And so, resigned, he promised he would tell him the story only if he went to his house and came back tomorrow.

Holding up his pinkie before him, they intertwined their fingers.

A promise.

The cold biting at his skin barely covered by mediocre clothing, Tae went directly home after that.

As he rested on top of his bed, he closed his eyes and prayed to the stars.

He prayed this promise wouldn't be broken.


	2. Chapter 2

The cold bit at his whole body as he waited and waited in the night. A strong wind blew snowflakes inside his hoodie as he shivered. Hot breath flew in the hair making little clouds of smokes quickly extinguished by the pouring snow drenching his clothes as it melted at the contact of his warm skin.

But he still waited.

And waited.

It was dark and well past midnight. The moon was a tad bit perceptible through the numerous clouds invading the somber sky. He could feel her feeble light pierce through their thickness as if reaching for him. Stretching out a hand made out of billion stars, pulling him out of his misery into the depthless magnificence of the world above.

He couldn't help but stare at the shape it made in the cotton clouds as her light emanated and radiated, surrounding her as something that reminded him of a spotlight.

His hands started to burn as they glued to the metal bench he had been sitting on for nearly an hour. Pulling at them with a swift movement, the pain surged through them as he looked and saw a tinny trail of blood oozing from his fresh injuries.

Even though they were stone cold, Tae scooped a little pile of snow and let it melt in his palms. The newly born water slowly became tinted crimson. At the sight, he opened both joined palms and left the read liquid to contaminate the pureness of the ground with its filthy colour.

The little trickle of hot blood pierced the snow in the middle and left a bright red spot. Even without the moonlight, he could still observe the contrast between the production of his organism and what nature had to offer.

And it disgusted him.

He felt sick to his stomach as he looked at the way he tarnished the beauty of nature with his own waste.

Because, like the snow, the skin of his lover had been a pure white. And like the monster he was, he had to spoil that purity with his bright red blood pouring from scars that had just appeared. He had, like the snow, to watch as the red slowly overpowered the white…

Tae restrained a sob at the memory and breathed heavily. The pain killing him, he took out the pocket of his hoodie gloves full of holes.

The holes made him think of his own self somehow. Vulnerable to the snarls of others like the cold that gushed through them and ate his fingers bit by bit slowly taking their life away as they stole their colour.

A tear made its way to the corner of his eye. Sliding down his cheek, she didn't pursue her trajectory too long as she froze midway.

The same ice that covered his heart and was slowly turning it into an emotionless cold rock. Frozen and burning to the touch in a way that made you want to run away.

Sighing heavily, he finally stood and brushed off the pile of snow surmounting him. He started marching slowly as he heard the crisp of his frozen clothes each and every time he took a step closer to his house.

Practically to the metal gate of the park, Tae stopped in his tracks as a small figure appeared in his peripheral vision running with something in between its tiny paws.

"Mister, wait!" he huffed as he ran, his cheeks bright red and his fluffy curls springing wildly in different directions.

He somehow reminded him of a bunny as he practically jumped each and every time he got closer to him.

The little guy finally arrived and breathed heavily, slowly regaining his strength and breath.

Tae stared at him bewildered. He couldn't believe his parents let him go like that in the middle of the night without even being worried for him.

Had he told his parents he was talking to a crying stranger in the middle of the night?

Certainly not or else he wouldn't be there holding out a fuming thermos in his direction.

"I thought that your story might take some time. So, I decided to bring hot chocolate since its cold outside. You like hot chocolate, don't you?" the kiddo inquired

"Yes, it's actually my favorite beverage" Tae let out, stunned by the kid's kindness.

And so, they both sat on the cold bench, the toddler wrapped in a hot and way too large blanket.

Tae was shivering yet again and couldn't help but smile when his little friend covered him with some of the blanket.

"Thank you" He murmured as the warm top of the thermos was shoved into his hands warming them instantly.

"Mister, have you cried again?" asked the kid as he plucked the frozen tear from Tae's face and threw it away with a quick move of the wrist.

"Yes" He blurted out, ashamed as the red creeped to his cheeks, this time, not from the cold.

"Aren't you happy to be my friend?"

"Sure" Tae answered as he grinned broadly.

They had barely met yesterday and yet, the little boy considered him as one of his friends… It somehow comforted him to know that there, just beneath his eyes, somebody enjoyed his company even though he didn't seem happy at the moment.

"You really meant it?" the kid said determined.

"Yes"

"Then, will you accept to be my best friend? I have always dreamed of having a big brother!" He squeaked expectantly.

"But best friend and brother are not the same thing…"

"Then, will you be both?" He instantly replied, hopeful.

"With pleasure" Tae whispered.

"Yay! Since you agreed to that, it means there will be no secrets between us! So, you can't hide a single thing from me."

"The same goes for you though." Tae answered, amused.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Then tell me the story of your life!"

"Alright. After all, I owed that much." Tae replied with a grin.

-X-

Once upon a time, there was a guy. To say that he was normal was an understatement. He had always felt different and he was somehow right. The simple fact that he was homosexual brought him in the category of the unordinary. And yet, nobody knew of that sexual preference because he kept that love of men deep down inside of him, locked in his heart.

The man had never planned to ever let out that secret, because he felt that his future would be compromised.

Then again, he was right. In his country, homosexuality was a disease that was meant to be cured in an asylum. With pills and people repeating how bad of a thing men loving each other in a passionate way was.

A plague.

Though, the man knew deep down that he was born this way. And that no matter what the psychiatrists, supposed specialist in that matter, would say he wouldn't change his mind.

Couldn't change his mind.

But, for him to pursue the career of his dreams he would have to hide his real love and seal it away.

He would have to act out his love for a woman that could potentially appeal to his family. A girl that wouldn't attract any attention and would be naïve enough to believe in his own lies.

A girl pretty enough and smart. A girl that was good at cleaning and cooking.

A girl.

A girl.

A girl.

Not a boy.

Never a boy.

But somehow, future had a twisted tale for the said man.

He had finally got a shot at showbiz as he had entered an audition without even notifying his parents. This way, if he failed, nobody would ever know.

Using his deep voice to impress the judges and his practiced acting skills, he had won them in an instant.

He still remembered the surprise he couldn't hide away as the judges gave him his overall appreciation.

Nor could he hide the smile that spread on his lips as he was announced he would take part in a band.

A boy's band.

"Was your lover in that band?" The kiddo asked.

"Yes, and he still is."

So, Tae continued, the first meeting with the members arrived quickly enough and the man couldn't contain his excitement.

A part of him was overjoyed about the fact that he would get to make his dream come true.

The other part he kept to himself, because he couldn't help but think about it, was the idea of getting a male partner in the group to be his boyfriend.

As he prepared himself to enter the room where they would all be, he shoved that thought at the back of his mind promising himself he wouldn't resurface.

And then he saw him.

The guy was sitting at the farthest end of the room, earphones plugged in his ears, his eyes closed.

He looked like an angel. One that had decided to plunge straight for hell.

In other words, a fallen angel surrounded by desirable darkness.

The man felt his heartbeat fasten and thump hard against his rib cage. The sound resounding in his body fell into rhythm with one of his favorite love songs.

And he knew at this precise moment that he was doomed.

-X-

The first encounter went well as the man kept quiet and made sure to calm down his thundering heart. Using of his acting skills, he pretended to be indifferent to the beauty radiating from the tenebrous male which had still kept quiet.

The presentations were quickly made and the awkwardness washed away.

The man laughed and tried to distance himself as much as possible from the other, trying to resist the attraction that dragged him nearer each and every second that passed.

He deported his stare, not wanting to give himself away.

Girl.

You love girls.

The contract stipulated they were to stay single as a way to please the fans by making them think they actually stood a chance with one of the members of the group.

They were basically paid to sell lies to poor young teenagers that fell for false people. Images created to attract desperate and underestimated girls that didn't love themselves.

They were paid to act cute. To sing and sell the dream of the perfect boyfriend. The manly guy that had a six pack and trained at least twice a week. The man that looked always nice, never wearing out of date clothes or showing himself to the camera without an ounce of makeup.

Or pretty much.

Exceptions were made sometimes.

In brief, the prince charming right out of paradise.

Each had an assigned personality judging by their looks and the first impression they made on their boss.

"Could you stop using the words the man? I believe it will be confusing in the future since you add more characters. Don't be ashamed of who you are!" said the little kid.

"Alright…"

Well, I was basically assigned as the family guy because I looked like the perfect gentle husband with the numerous children. He on his part was the type of womanizer slash heartbreaker because he always bore a neutral yet smug facial expression.

But somehow, went he started to sing, I felt as if he actually opened up to us. The way his face changed and married perfectly the emotions related to the song he interpreted…

The passion he poured in each and every note he delivered with such perfection.

It somehow brought me to tears.

But I had to stay strong.

I had to stay manly.

Men didn't cry.

So, I restrained myself.

I didn't want to cry out of sadness but out of pure happiness and euphoria in front of such raw talent.

But I feigned disinterest and sung my part the best I could reaching the deep notes without trembling, harmonizing myself with the other guys.

To be honest, it felt as if we were meant to be reunited as one. Because where one couldn't reach, another went.

We were like a circle of perfection. Beautiful music never ending, spiraling in a perfect sphere as our vocal cords expressed melancholy and love and so much feelings into notes from diverse ranges.

We practiced like that for hours on end slowly understanding each other's voices and even creating some lyrics out of the blue for a song.

For our debut.

-X-

Some men approached us and gave us diverse songs varying in genres and themes. Somehow, I couldn't help but always find a repetition. A link in which all these songs were attached in a way.

And that was love.

Each represented in a way their love for something.

Whether it was for music, a cherished one, an instrument, family, youth…

That special bond was always there, somewhere.

So why.

Why wasn't it there, between us, human beings? Why wasn't love represented between people of the same sex? Why was that unrealistic when even the said impossible had been vanquished?

I didn't understand.

And yet, I didn't want to, because I knew it would only bring me more pain.

I thought of myself as a strong human being and yet I didn't know how love could weaken you to the point where you would fall, no matter the dangers.

No matter how many there were.

"What happened next?"

"It's getting late. Come tomorrow and I'll tell you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! If you ever feel like sharing your opinion, don't hold back! It can only help me improve! See you all soon!**

The little boy was waiting on the bench, a smile plastered on his face. He tapped the spot beside him rapidly as he showed how impatient he was.

Tae couldn't help but see a resemblance to the person he used to think was his soulmate. The way the little kid opened his eyes widely at his approach. His mouth curving upward and slowly breaking in a toothy grin.

Tae pushed that thought away as he pressed his bottom on the warm blanket resting on top of the bench. He then folded the other half on himself, hiding the multiple holes in is clothes.

It had been a long time since he hadn't bought a new piece of clothing. Or at least one he liked to wear. The Gucci era was far behind and would never come back.

Though it didn't pain him as much as he thought it would. If he had to choose between the man loving him ever again and clothes, he wouldn't hesitate. Because he knew deep down he would never love again like that.

"Mister! Your clothes are full of holes! Let me get you some of my dad's next time!" The kid yelped as he witnessed the hole in his front shirt where snowflakes hid and melted.

"Won't he be mad if you steal some of his favorites?"

"No, there are some that he doesn't even wear. And whenever I ask him why he won't put them on, he tells me that it reminds him too much of mom."

"I don't think he will mind if I give them to you." He added.

"Maybe they have a sentimental value. I don't need a single thing. Leave them to your dad. I know what it feels like to stick to memories, trust me. Sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps you alive when you have a rough day. You hold on to these better days and wish for their comeback."

"I guess it explains why he still sleeps with the same shirt on. I never saw him change it once. I think he said he washed it, but my mom argued with him about that matter once. I think he lied. But I don't see why."

"I would do so to preserve the scent. Maybe he enjoys really much the smell of it and it remembers him of one of the best dates he had with your mom." Tae offered.

"Maybe. My dad isn't really home anyway. He always works. I don't even know what he does for a living. So, I stay at my mom's most of the time. Since she has her new boyfriend, she doesn't really pay attention to me anymore. Maybe it's because I remember her too much of my dad. She says I resemble him a great lot. The only thing I've inherited from her is the curls in my hair and the blue of her eyes. I think she doesn't want to be associated to me as if she was ashamed that I was her son."

"Don't say that. Maybe she really loved your father and she is still grieving. I am sure you are one of the most wonderful things that happened in her life."

"Thanks, big brother."

Tae's heart melted. The little kid knew how to make him feel better, how to forget how much of a wreck he was at the moment. It had been many years since the said event had happened and yet he could still picture it as if it had happened yesterday.

"Your story now!" he squeaked pleasantly.

-X-

I was staring at him and couldn't look away. His whole being fascinated me. But I always turned my head away whenever he noticed because I knew how wrong it was to desire him in that way.

I tried keeping myself away by telling myself that I didn't even know him. That love was supposed to go beyond appearance. And yet, deep down I knew that the more I fought, the more I fell harder for him.

It was as if a bell had rung inside my head. Telling me everything would be fine.

Telling me he was the one.

I wanted to resonate, tell myself that it was stupid. That it was impossible for such a thing as love at first sight to exist.

After all, as far as I knew it could be a one-sided love. We hadn't really talked since our first encounter.

He kept mostly to himself and always wore black clothing. The other members thought he looked depressive because of the darkness of his whole being. His lack of colour.

I wanted to tell them he made me think of a bridge between hell and paradise. Sort of. Because the whiteness of his skin contrasted with the black of his hair.

I wanted to tell them he was the most colorful person in the room on a scientific level.

That certainly would have pleased the leader of our group knowing he was an intellectual.

I, on my part didn't have the looks of a nerd, but if one thing was sure, my theories always were accurate. Just as this one was.

I remember that day, they told him to wear colorful clothes for once. It hadn't been the first time they had asked that of him.

And I admired his stubbornness. Because even after all this time, he looked at them, grinned and put on a black hoodie over his baggy black t-shirt.

It was all funny at first, but stylists weren't taking it. As much as the members respected his choice of colour, the stylists explained he still had an image to preserve. And that meant he wouldn't be free to wear what he liked all of the time. And the fact that it was monochrome wasn't helping his case.

They kept on pushing and pushing until one day it was too much.

I never thought I would be the one to burst and snap at them.

I never thought I would defend him with one of my worthless theories.

And yet I did.

"He is the most colorful person in this room" I shouted.

Everybody was staring at me.

Even him.

My whole body was shaking, but I took deep breaths and calmed myself down. I wasn't thinking straight at that moment.

I only wanted to protect him and for people to stop asking him about his clothes. I wanted them to let him be himself. He already had to act sometimes in front of the cameras they could at least let him off when nobody was watching.

"Look, we are just asking him to change clothes. It's okay to be metaphorical, but that won't lead us anywhere."

"I wasn't being poetic for your information. I can prove it to you on a scientific level!"

"We don't have time for that sort of garbage. Now Jung…" the stylist said.

"I want to hear what he has to say before changing. If it's worth it, you let me have my normal clothes and you apologize for saying it was garbage. If it is indeed crap, then, I'll even wear a dress if you want me too."

"I can't believe we are doing this" the stylist answered.

"First of all, colours come from the light spectrum. Without light, everything would be dark and blurry, because colours would all be mixed to form only one thing, darkness. Therefore, here's my theory. Whenever light hits something, let's pick an apple for example, the apple reflects all of the rays of the light, but the red one, which she absorbs. Therefore, the apple is red because she absorbed the colour red provided by the light. Now here's the thing. White is the most colorless thing you can have in life because when light hits something that is supposed to be white, it doesn't absorb any rays. It only reflects them all and at the same time all of the colours. White represents emptiness. Whereas black is everything, because when light touches something supposed to be black, the object in question absorbs everything and doesn't reflect a single ray. Therefore, black is not considered a colour because it is all colours all at once." I said in one quick breath and sat back.

Everybody stared at me. And then he started clapping.

And smiled in my direction as he answered: "I am afraid I officially adopted black as my dressing colour."

Since then, nobody ever bothered him with his black clothes.

-X-

Our friendship started like that. Since that small victory of mine, he started staying by my side an expectant look in my direction readable in his dark orbs.

I guess he really enjoyed my theories. And it somehow made me smile. Because for once, somebody looked at me as if what I had said mattered. As if I too could say brilliant things.

So, I really felt grateful whenever I saw him look at me like that. I felt important and cherished.

A feeling I never felt as strongly before.

-X-

In the beginning, it felt easier for me to hide my sexual orientation because every single move I made, every single thing I said looked like the big brother caring for his younger sibling.

That was until they announced us we would be traveling to America. We had barely debuted and K-pop wasn't really known there.

Let's say we weren't really wealthy at the moment. Because of that, we had to sleep all in a shared room, two members per bed and one lucky winner who would get to have one all to himself.

I wanted badly that single bed for far better motives than the others. Because if I had to be matched with him, I wouldn't be able to sleep.

I had even thought of sleeping on the floor rather than make physical contact with him involuntarily.

The other members where fine, but I didn't want to risk the chance of getting with him.

And so, I told them all that I was kicking really hard in my sleep and that I had even bitten someone while having a nightmare.

They probably thought back then that I was a freak, but it had scared them enough to willingly give me the bed.

A small victory.

-X-

I barely knew how to say a single sentence in English, so you can imagine how easy selling ourselves for our upcoming concert would be for me.

Lacking confidence when I was insecure about a language I didn't know and not wanting to humiliate myself by uttering words wrong, I tried concentrating on the pronunciation of the leader and memorize every sentence he said even though it sounded like an alien trying to communicate with me.

It was hard, because some sounds didn't even exist in my language.

But I guess I managed to be understood, because people I had talked to, came that night when we did our show.

Even though people saw it as free entertainment, I felt proud to see people actually took some of their time to listen to our music. I loved how they smiled and clapped their hands as they encouraged us.

I remember standing that first time on the stage and wishing the concert would never end. I remember feeling the reassuring warmth of the spotlight and the presence e of the other members at my side as we sang our lungs out and poured everything we had as if our lives depended on it.

Which in a way was true.

As I got lost in our music, I didn't have to act uninterested as my crush sang. I could freely move and look euphoric because people would think it was part of the show, part of my acting.

And somehow, I wished it could always be like that, because at that precise moment, I was the happiest man on earth.

-X-

"I'll have to stop here for tonight. It's getting late"

"Can't we meet sooner in the day next time? I really want to know what happens next!"

"Alright, I won't budge anyway." Tae told him.

"Promise?"

"Promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! It has been a while, I know, but I never was satisfied with the final result of this chapter. But, it is finally here. I do hope you will enjoy it.**

 **P.S: As my idea was meant to narrate the story as in a fairy tale, you must understand that I make the relationship move forward quickly. Therefore, this fanfic won't count that many chapters. I would say maybe three or four more, maximum. Therefore, I'll try to update it quicker than last time!**

 **With that being said, feel free to leave a review!**

 **And, personally, if you really want to kind of get in the mood of this chapter, I suggest you listen to Lost Stars, the cover made by Jungkook, it's the song that inspired me… So yeah!**

 **See ya!**

"No time to lose! I want to know what happens next!" he squeaked.

"Alright…"

-X-

Snowflakes were falling gently, freckling his dark hair. He was twirling in the snow, tongue out trying to grab as many as possible. The lights were barely illuminating his imposing frame and yet it felt as if a halo was surrounding him, beckoning me to come closer.

The sky was beautiful that night. Stars shone bright in its immensity, all going their separate ways, all so far away from each other.

This simple spectacle which had taken place in front of my bare eyes was barely enough to keep me from staring at the man, playing like a kid in the snow.

I concentrated on the little shining points, interrogating myself on the reason hiding behind the distance separating them. Somehow, an image came to my mind. I had personified these balls of gas, gifting them with the property of emotions, a trait, it seemed, only humans suffered from.

After all, weren't it for those stupid feelings, I wouldn't have felt so crushed, and desperate.

I gazed at their brightness and, as if my mind could read even the deepest secrets of my treacherous heart, I slowly started to notice some of them moving.

Not many, barely two.

I saw them converging, falling both to reach a certain point where they would reunite.

And then I understood.

My mind had associated these beings as humans, both fighting through space and distance to get to the one that could complete them.

Even if they were against the world. Even if the entirety of the universe rejected them.

Exiled, but finally together, forever.

"You always make that face when some theory pops up in your head" said a familiar voice as a growing warmth took control of my whole face.

I was lucky it was winter, or else, I suspected he might have discovered the effect he had on me, by simply standing close.

"Maybe" I answered, trying to control the shaking in my voice.

I would not stutter.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" he responded, trying to hide the excitement in his tone.

"I… don't really feel like it." I answered and smiled sadly, making sure to avoid eye contact.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." I faked.

"You're lying" he said coming closer.

"I don't see what you're talking about." I simply answered and went away without turning back.

-X-

"What made you go away?" asked the toddler.

"Love" Tae answered.

-X-

He kept on following me, never leaving much space between our two bodies. I tried to rationalize, to tell myself, convince my heart, that the desire that he kept on following me, slowly thinning the space separating us, was disgusting.

I gripped my coat, trying to crush my heart. The clothing separating both parts of my body wasn't even enough to hide its thunderous beatings.

I felt exposed, vulnerable.

And yet, my mind was set on the same sentence, the same scenario where everything would be fine.

Where love triumphed over hatred.

They lived happily and had a lot of children.

My happy ending.

The cold bit at my lungs and I realised I had started running. The burning was intensifying, devouring me from the inside.

But it was nothing compared to the love inflaming my entire being.

It never would even grow close to that same feeling.

Unfortunately, I had my limits. The urge to vomit made its way up my throat as I clutched my stomach with both hands and bent into two.

The hardest part was to actually stop advancing. The snow crunching under my boots had hidden its accomplice!

I slipped and felt myself falling at an odd angle as the thin crust of ice recovering the ground had decided I wasn't going any farther away.

I felt face first in snow, my whole being flattened against the ground.

I could feel the sow melting all around me as shame took control of my face.

"It seems you are not going anywhere" he teased and sat on top of me, making sure I couldn't escape.

I managed to raise my head and curse at him, but it only turned out to be even funnier for him.

As he laughed on top of me, hot tears pouring from his eyes, I lost it and started laughing too, a grin now plastered on my face.

As the seconds passed and the laughter thinned, the weight of my feelings invaded my mind. I gradually reduced my voice to a soft whisper so that he couldn't hear the choked sob at the end.

Images where flickering inside my brain. His face growing uneasy as I would relieve myself from all of this pain weighing on my shoulders. His comforting presence, slowly turning cold as the flame that sparked between us was slowly turning to ashes and nothingness.

The questions as to why we were acting so weirdly around each other.

My coming out that was never supposed to be known, but by me.

The end of my career.

And finally, the exile.

This phenomenon was called overthinking. At the time, it seems I was the master, the creator of such a disease.

This lack of confidence in everyone, even myself, was biting at me, rotting my whole being to the core.

And…

It made me lose more sweet moments with my special someone.

As these dark thoughts were torturing me, shadowing any twinkle of light trying to pierce the darkness, I heard a voice.

His.

The grave sound of it, the worry that tinted it…

As impossible as it looks… It illuminated all that darkness in my head and erased all of these obscure images.

"You have been acting weird lately. You sure you're okay" he whispered.

"It's because you are so damn heavy. You are suffocating me with these pounds of muscles! Why did you have to work out so much? One day, I swear, you'll be the death of me!" I shouted, trying to be convincing.

"You love them and you know it." He simply answered, teasing.

The red crept to my cheeks as I thought about the purest way to the answer.

I opted for a quick as if, as I dug my head deeper into the snow, trying to refresh my burning red face.

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll set you free" he simply said.

"I'm afraid that won't be enough." I argued as I remembered what was at stake.

"Then, what should I do for you to tell me what's wrong?"

"Tell me you love me." I blurted out and automatically regretted it.

"Huh? Hey! You know I'm not good at these kinds of things! I can't just scream at the top of my lung that I love you! I'm not made that way! Can't I do something else?"

I didn't answer. I was petrified. My body had run cold and was paralyzed.

What if he understood the feelings I felt towards him?

No, that would certainly be a catastrophe.

Seeing I wasn't uttering a single word since, he pushed himself off me and tried turning me around so that he could have a look at my face.

I decided I wanted to die at this precise moment. I would let the cold devour me and crystallize my body in its youthful beauty. I was so ashamed I never wanted to look him in the eye, afraid he might see the confession I had left untold.

The truth about what I felt toward him.

Unfortunately, he was obviously stronger then me and struggling a little, he managed the impossible.

I instantly covered my face with both hands, not wanting him to see the tears pouring, slowing frosting and marking my skin.

"Are you really going to pout because I didn't tell you… that I…these words?" he stammered.

My lips were sealed. I wouldn't part them to utter even a sound.

Treacherous.

Oh, treacherous heart, why did you have to take the control of my mind for that instant.

Couldn't you just keep these thought for unrealistic late-night dreams?

"Hey, look at me! I'll say it alright, but I want you to look at me."

I didn't budge.

"C'mon. You know I hate it when you do that." He groaned pulling at my hands.

My body followed my hands, in a form of sit-up… This way, my whole face was protected from exposure.

"I give up." He whispered as he pulled me down in the snow and sat beside me.

The silence went on for what felt like hours before he broke it:

"Look, you know I care about you. It pains me to see you like that."

"What's the point if you don't mean it" the words slipped.

CRAP!

"I do care about you! What the heck! I wouldn't lie about that!"

Since the ship was already sinking why not just finish it off…

"I'm talking about what I asked you to tell me"

"Oh."

"Well… I do… But, you have to understand that it's hard for me to say it… Like really, just the thought of articulating those words drives me nuts."

"Okay." I replied.

Suddenly, he was on top of me yanking my hands away from my face, a triumphant grin on illuminating is whole being.

"You should have known by now that I am not the type of person to give up that easily." he murmured wickedly.

His smile froze as he saw the dried tears streaking my face.

"Let me go" I screamed as I started trying lamentably to fight him off.

Why did he have to be so heavy?

"Calm down" he said without conviction as he started to lessen his grip.

Fighting with the force of despair, I manage to catch him off balance and pushed him to the side.

Free, I started pulling myself up, before he gently gripped my ankle and pulled me to the ground.

To say it was gentle was an understatement. Love can make you change the side of the story sometimes. But let's say that I fell quickly.

And… hardly.

As he tried to take a better hold of me, pushing himself up a little bit, he slipped on that wonderful ice.

You see, for once ice was wonderful because when he fell, his face landed right beside mine. And as I tried to make sure he was okay, turning my face a little, he did the same simultaneously.

-X-

"You bumped your heads?" asked the little kiddo.

"It must have hurt" he added.

"Well, actually, his lips landed on my cheek, a few centimeters away from my mouth."

"Oh, so it was your first kiss?"

"Well, no because a kiss involves…Never mind, you're too young to understand." Tae muttered.

"I am not a kid! I am a grown-up person! I can understand everything!"

"Alright… it was my first hum… peck! But just for you we will call it a kiss." Tae surrendered.

"The first of many" he added with a sad smile.

"Anyway, it's late, you should go home now, little brother."

The little guy left his seat and started walking away when he suddenly came back.

"I stole this from my dad. I'm pretty sure he won't notice it. It's the shirt he used to wear a lot, but I can just say that it was in the washing machine. Daddy works so much, he won't remember. Plus, you need it way more than he does." The little kiddo squeaked and started sprinting away.

"See ya tomorrow!" he screamed!

Tae look at the oversized black shirt. It didn't have any inscriptions written on it. Yet, it made him remember the man he could never forget.

Holding it to his chest, Tae went back home that night, clutching his new treasure. His little brother's gift.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello there! I am truly sorry for the delay. I know that I keep on repeating the same thing all over again, but I can't help it!

I hope you will enjoy this chapter as always!

See ya (I dunno when, but someday)!

* * *

I was hiding in the shadows observing the scene from far away. The girl was merely a few centimeters shorter than him. Her face completely hidden from my sight, I could only curse under my breath as bribes of the conversation came to my ears.

I admit that what I did wasn't right. Gluing my back to a wall and spying the two of them as they shared something that looked like a private conversation was probably the most disgraceful thing I ever made in my entire life.

Yet, jealousy was eating at me and possessing my mind as the worst scenarios were taking place in it. I could picture him with a girl, kissing in a dark corner. Seeing sparkles lights those obscure orbs as he would lay eyes upon someone other than me.

It was pretty selfish, but love sometimes renders you mad and possessive.

Silence.

Impatience killing me slowly, I couldn't help but glance sideways in an attempt to subtly get a glimpse of the whole scene going on.

"I LOVE YOU" screamed the girl at the top of her lungs.

The cry pierced the night with it shrillness. Yet, all I could feel was the weight of her words as they reverberated inside of my rib cage crushing my heart.

 _Please do not answer positively! Please… Please…. My heart won't be able to take it._

Silence persisted for a whole minute before he dared utter another word.

"Look… I…" he stammered clearly awkward.

I peered once more and let loose a breath of relief.

He was backing away.

He would not come closer to her.

He.

Did.

Not.

Return.

Her.

Feelings.

A small victory.

And yet, I felt as if I hadn't won yet.

"Look, I know that you love me. I am the woman of your dreams I swear it! We are meant to be and you know it. If doing the cooking, the laundry and the cleaning is what you need as proof, then I am willing to do so. I'll even take care of our future kids once we are married. You'll see, you'll be the happiest man on earth with me."

As she enunciated those words, she crept closer and closer, closing in the distance separating their two bodies.

He kept on walking backwards, slowly approaching my hiding place.

I was in deep crap, not to say that these weren't the precise words I had in mind at that moment.

Suddenly, a twinge of pain somehow made its way inside of me. Not from jealousy this time, but more like the feeling a person I cared about was in danger.

"Why won't you love me back? You don't have anybody else. I used to be your friend! You had a crush on me back when we were kids. Don't you think it was time I finally realized you were worth my while?"

A few meters and I would be able to touch him if I reached out my arm…

"I love someone else" he muttered.

My heart skipped a beat.

 _WHAT?_

"Oh right… Cut the crap. If you are again referring to that singer of yours…."

 _Singer…_

"You have been dreaming of that girl since like forever. Grow up a bit. She never was interested in you in the first place. Deep down you are still the shy guy that nobody cares about. It's not because you've got muscles now and fame that it will change anything about your current situation."

"That person cares." He simply said.

And before she could continue, he blurted out:

"He was always there for me when I needed it. He fought for me when everybody else was against me. He makes me laugh whenever I am sad and gives me every bit of attention and affection he believes I deserve. When I'm with him, I feel like the most special person in the world. I feel like a superstar because each and every time he looks at me, I see an endless pit of black… And then bursting through it a single spot of light. A lone star, lost. And in the infinity of his stare, I feel like I belong, like I'll forever be the only star in the whole universe he'll ever pray to, confide in."

"Did you just admit you were in love with a guy? Boy you have always been straight! Where is this atrocity coming from? Let me get your ideas clear again" she whispered as she tried to take a hold of his collar.

I had no doubt of what her next action would be.

I wouldn't let that happen.

Never.

And that's when the strangest thing ever happened.

I needed a plan and quick. Something that would get us both out of this mess without him noticing me…

But what?

I couldn't explain the phenomenon. It felt as if my body urged me to move forward, my brain letting go of the reins that imprisoned my limbs.

Clinging to the wall, I felt my right knee buckle. Petrified as I didn't want to be spotted stalking my crush, I tried my best to grip my fingers into the small cracks of the brick in order to keep my balance.

Unfortunately, due to a certain amount of stress, my hands were all sweaty and quickly enough did I find myself crumbling to the side…

On the nearest person approaching the corner.

Him.

Everything happened so dang fast after that.

As a reflex, he brought me close to his chest in an attempt to stop my fall.

My sudden interruption had stopped the girl from her wrong advances, but she was still too close from him for me to acknowledge her as a person and not a potential danger.

As he bore into my eyes trying to make sure I was alright, recognition hit him.

"Tae? Wh-what are you doing here?" he stammered.

The girl stared in shock at the sight that was taking place before her bare eyes. Judging by her calculating glare, she was piecing everything together.

"Don't tell me this is the guy you are in love with?" she yelled, shocked.

Silence.

"Uh..." I attempted but didn't know what to say.

Some part of me wanted to grab his face and kiss him fiercely right there to confirm her assumptions, but the other side was still not a hundred percent sure about her allegations.

So, like an idiot I stood there staring him down, waiting for his answer.

"You…"

I blurted the first words that came tumbling out of my mouth.

"I heard everything."

 _Way to go buddy! The right way to mess things up!_

"Oh…" he said as he started to let go of me, ashamed.

"That's what I thought" the girl muttered and reached out to try to pry me way from his grip.

This bitc…*cough* person should have known that once I claim something as mine, there's no possible way of taking it away from me.

"Get away from him you filthy vermin" she cursed as she pulled me away from his grasp.

Treacherous heart once, treacherous heart twice.

"Why are you sabotaging my precious moment with my boyfriend by your presence" I snarled.

"HUNH?" replied the girl as she somehow loosened her grip on my wrist.

"Really?" he whispered as his face searched mine.

"Yeah… You know… If you don't believe me, there's a way I can prove it to you" I attempted and regretted it instantly.

For a second.

"Go ahead" he simply replied.

Before anybody else could add anything more, my lips were sealed shut with his.

And world was perfection.

-X-

"Alright, off to bed you go!"

"I wish this could be the end of the story" simply replied the little kiddo.

"It can end here if you wish to" Tae answered.

"I still want to hear the rest, but if I feel like it is too sad, I will shorten it up to the end right here."

"Okay… If you do so, how would you like to name the story?"

"A man wishing to the moon"

"Why so?" Tae inquired.

"Because it felt as if you were pleading to the moon to send you a soulmate."

"Indeed."

"Or I could simply call it your name and the lost star. As you said the guy compared himself as someone that was lost and you were the one that found him."

"You do as you please little brother."

"Then, I'll pick the second choice because I have hope that the lost star will be found once again and reunited with you, the endless sky that he calls home."

Tae retained a tear from falling as his words pierced his heart with their secret promise.

Something he had somehow forgotten he still wished to happen.

"One thing is missing though, for the title to be complete."

"What?"

"Your complete name."

"Taehyung." Tae simply answered.

-X-

Jungkook went home to his apartment that night.

Waking up the nanny sleeping on the sofa and paying her, he closed the door and locked it.

It had been a while since he had had the chance to spend time with his toddler. His busy schedules accumulating, he felt quite guilty each hand every time he left home.

He wanted to be there for his kid.

But his contract wasn't over yet and he couldn't back out from it until the end.

A couple more months and he would be the best dad ever.

For Kyo.

A name Tae and he had chosen as they had talked about the kids they would adopt once they were ready to build their family.

Jungkook entered Kyo's bedroom well aware he would be asleep at this time of the night. As a fact, the little boy rested atop his bed, the only thing lighting the room being a small lamp resting atop a nearby desk.

Jungkook lifted him in his arms and pulled the covers from the mattress as he pressed him slowly back to his original place, covering him with the sheets.

Pressing a soft kiss to his temple, he slowly went for the desk to turn off the lamp.

His eyes rested upon a drawing the little boy had made. It pictured two tall guys holding both with one hand a little toddler that couldn't be mistaken with any other person than his own son. One of the adults was wearing a dark hoodie covering his face and hiding his features while the other one was simply dressed in black and strangely resembled him.

A family reunited.

But two guys?

He had never told his son the reason why he wasn't with his mom anymore.

Had she admitted to him that he was gay and couldn't lie to her anymore about his sexual preference?

She had told him on many occasions that it wasn't her call to make and that it was in fact his duty as a dad to tell him the truth, something he fairly deserved.

Looking upper on the sheet, Jungkook noticed words scribbled in a tiny and sloppy handwriting beside a rising sun accompanied by a huge rainbow.

He read:

 _Taehyung and the lost star_

 _To: Taehyung_

 _From: Your little brother_

* * *

 **Author's note:** I hope it wasn't too predictable, but hey, who doesn't like a little cliché right there? Anyway still hope you liked it and look forward to the next chapter! I also want to thank everybody who still follows this story. I would also like to share my huge thanks to the people that added it in their favorite stories! It really means the world to me!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello, it's me again. I know this chapter is short, but know that it's the second to last one. i am currently working on the last one. Hopefully to post it tonight! If not, I know for a thing that it will be soon.

Enjoy!

* * *

He had to talk to his son. One way or another.

How did he know the name of his ex-boyfriend?

How could he possibly draw someone that resemble him so well and never have met him before?

Thinking it through, Jungkook thought about the whole scenario. Could his son have encountered Tae somewhere near?

How would that even be possible. With him constantly under the heavy surveillance of the nanny, there was no way possible he could have gone out of the house without her noticing.

But…

She was fast asleep when he came home…

"Daddy?" pleaded a small voice.

"Aren't you supposed to be asleep at this time of the night?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why is that?" asked Jungkook.

He might be able to pry confidences from his little kiddo if he asked the right questions without pressuring him.

" I can't stop thinking about a story a friend told me."

"Who is that friend?"

"Oh papa, I have been a bit naughty these days."

"What have you done? I will not be mad at you. I just want you to tell me the truth."

"I was lonely because you weren't home and the nanny is really annoying and she sleeps all the time. She doesn't even want to play with me. And since I can't go anywhere because you told me it's dangerous, I grew bored. Mama wouldn't take me home because of her new boyfriend.

"Oh, so she has someone new in her life? God bless him."

"Why aren't you sad? Mama doesn't love you anymore. Doesn't it hurt you?"

"I haven't been nice to your mom either. I lied to her on multiple occasions and it was my greatest mistake. But, I don't regret ever meeting your mom because I got the most important thing to me out of it, you. Weren't it for your existence, I would regret ever wasting her time."

"Papa, what did you do?"

"Sweetheart, I am afraid I might have something to reveal to you. Will you promise me to talk to me about that new friend of yours and tell me everything you are hiding if I share with you my deepest secret?"

"Pinkie swear!" he squeaked full of pride.

"Well, um… how should I say this…"He started.

"Wait, I need to get into something comfortable to tell you all of that." He added.

"Kyo! Have you seen my black shirt?" inquired Jungkook panicked.

Seeing his son wasn't answering, he went back into his bedroom and saw his face flushed red.

"It seems you have another thing to tell me."

"I gave it away."

"You did… what?" he said as he gripped his hair hard and plucked a few of them away.

"It was really large and my friend had holes in his clothes. I thought that since it was old I could give it to him. I asked the nanny to wash it. He looked really happy to have it. He even started crying."

"Shi…It's okay. You meant well." Sighed Jungkook.

"Why was that shirt so important to you daddy? You never even washed it since! It stank!"

"Look, it might sound weird to you but it's all related to the reason why I left your mom."

"Did it belong to somebody you loved before?"

"Yes"

"It's funny… When I told my friend about the fact that you never washed it, he said that it probably was to keep the smell of the person it belonged to in the first place."

"Yeah… that's why."

"How old is your friend? He sure seems mature and smart for a six-year-old."

"Oh… It's not a kid. It's a grown man!" answered the little one.

"So, it's one of your teachers at school? It's really sweet of him to befriend you…"

"No, I didn't meet him a t school."

"Where could you have met him then? You don't get out of this house unless you have to go to school or any essential appointments because the nanny doesn't want any trouble."

"I…" he started and suddenly looked at the ground ashamed.

"Yes?"

"I sneaked out of the house at night…"

"WHAT? You could have been kidnaped!"

"But I was really careful! My friend asked me the same questions when I sat by his side on the bench at the park!"

"You met a guy in the middle of the night in a park… and you became friend with him?"

Jungkook suddenly lifted his son shirt and started walking around him, examining him for injuries.

"Has he done anything to you and told you to keep it a secret? Has he touched you in places you felt uncomfortable?"

"No… he was just crying and cold."

"It could have been a trap! Is he still there? I would like to have a few words with him."

"Papa! He isn't mean! He is my big brother!"

"Tell me where you saw this guy! I am going to take back my shirt and give him a piece of my mind."

"Papa…he is special! He told me he was in love with guys."

"Even more reason to stay away from that creep. He could have, he could have…..Oh my god. Never do this to me again. You won't see him and I'll never leave your side again. What a horrible father I am…"

"Papa, I don't have to worry. He told me his heart only belongs to one guy."

"Show me where he is. This ends now."

"I won't tell you until you calm down and let me explain."

"Is he the guy on your drawing? Is it him that is called Taehyung?"

"Yes…"

"Why am I placed beside him? Why do we look like a couple on that picture?"

"Papa, the guy wearing black isn't you… It's the guy he loves. He described it to me."

"huh?"

"He tells me the story of his long-lost love. A part each and every night as we meet at the park. He really loves this guy with all of his heart. That's why I wanted to give him this drawing tomorrow. I wanted for him to keep believing he might meet him again. He told me that the story ended badly, but I don't know why yet."

"So many coincidences…" murmured Jungkook

"What does he do for a living?" inquired Jungkook

"He doesn't have a job now."

"What did he use to do?"

"He told me he used to be a singer in a band."

"Was his lover in that band?"

"Yes, and he said he still is."

"And you are telling me that, after all this time… He still loves this guy…"

Jungkook grew calm suddenly. This guy… he wasn't a threat it was…

"He talks about him with sparkles in his eyes. The first time I met him, he was crying because he said that the stars were playing tricks on him. He said that whenever he looked, his face would pop up and he would feel a terrible pain crushing his heart."

"Tae…I'm so sorry" choked Jungkook.

"Papa, you know his name?"

"Look, Kyo? I… you remember the thing that I had to tell you?"

"Yes… Papa, what's wrong! Why are you crying?" squeaked the little one as he saw shining pearls slide down his father's cheeks.

"Do you… do you hate Tae's boyfriend?"

"No…I actually think he is pretty cool. That's why if they ever reunite, I hope I'll get to have a second big brother. Or maybe a third papa for when you are gone to work…"

"You would like him as a dad… Really?" murmured Jungkook barely able to speak as he was so moved.

"Yes, but papa, answer my question right now. What's wrong?"

"It's me."

"What do you mean it's you?"

"Tae's boyfriend…It's…It's me." He whispered.

"What? But papa, you like gir…"

Understanding seemed to hit the toddler.

"Is it why you don't love mama anymore?"

"Sort of…yes."

"But, you'll understand better if he tells you the rest of the story."

"He told me he would tell me the end tomorrow. He never broke any of his promises."

"But wait… That means… That means he has found his lone star…That means he will finally be reunited with his soulmate…" added the little one.

"Papa, you have to come with me tomorrow. You have to see him! And please! Let him live with us! So that when you are away I will have him by my side!"

"I don't know if it's a good idea. I made him suffer so much. He deserves someone better than me."

"But Papa, he loves you. Only you."

"He said so?"

"He repeats it all the time. Whenever he thinks about you, stars shine in his eyes. There was pain too, but I think it mostly was nostalgia as he remembered the good times you had together."

"I don't know if I'll be able to face him…"

"You don't have to show yourself right away. Maybe you could hide while he tells me the rest of the story and surprise him at the end…"

"I can't believe you are so unfazed by all of that. You seem euphoric…"

"If that means having two people I really care about being happy, then I think it's worth the risk. Plus, mama is happy with her new boyfriend now. I think Tae has a lot of love to give, so if I am lucky, he will give me some of yours."

"Kyo, I love you."

"I already know that papa. But right now, he should be the one hearing these words. For all the time, he waited…"

"I'll do it"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

Thanks again for the support! I love you all! :)


	7. Chapter 7

FINISHED! FINALLY! Here you go Just like I promised! Well then! It was fun writing this fanfic! First time ever doing a male x male fanfic. Hope it wasn't,t crappy! Actually, i really wish you hardcore TAEKOOK shippers are satsified. If not, i give you the permission to bash me in the comment section. I wanna know what there is to improve. Anyway, as always, enjoyyyyyyyy!

* * *

"I can't"

"Papa, we have to go now." Moaned the toddler

"I have to find something first."

"Is it that important?"

"If I am to confess my feelings, then yes, it is quite important."

"Now where did I leave it…"

Jungkook made a mess out of his bedroom as he kept searching. As he opened a random box full of souvenirs, weirdly the closest to reach even after all the years that had passed, he sighed in relief.

"What's in there" asked Kyo.

"Pictures." He answered as he snatched something that he hid in one of his multiple pockets. Judging by the amazement his son was showing towards the box, he guessed he hadn't seen what he had stolen from it.

Good.

"We can go now."

"So that was what you were looking for" the kiddo inquired.

"Sort of, yes."

"I don't like when answer me like that. It sounds like you are hiding things from me."

"What's the point of a surprise if you know everything?

-X-

Tae was patiently waiting on the bench. The little toddler usually was here by now. Placing his hands underneath his clothes, atop his chest, he tried warming them up. Hugging his knees, the scent of sweat clung to his nostrils. He didn't particularly care. He had been so moved by his little brother's action that he couldn't bring himself to wash the shirt he had given him. A feeble smell of the soap he had used remained and he wanted to keep it. He had told him after all that scents brought memories and so people wanted to keep them.

Smiling, he suddenly turned around as he heard soft footsteps in the snow. The little kid was there holding a piece of paper.

As the young one sat at his usual place, he brought the paper to Tae's face and smiled broadly.

"If I ever meet him again, I promise you I'll show him that drawing. We'll put it in a frame inside our house and it will be our most treasured belonging. Whenever you'll come visit by, I'll tell everyone that I kept believing and found my path to happiness because of you."

"So, you like it?"

"Are you kidding? I love it! It resembles him a lot. With such a drawing, I'll be able to picture him even more vividly and it'll be easier for me to find him. I'll wave that picture around in the street asking if they saw him…"

"But he is known so everybody will know who he is… no?"

"Yes, but nobody knows where he lives… Maybe someone will have pity of me and give me some info."

"I hope so…" the kiddo answered and tired restraining himself from spoiling the surprise.

"Anyway, I want to hear the rest of the story!"

"Alright, here we go."

-X-

We started dating.

Every time the cameras were off, we would run in some place dark where nobody could see us and kiss there for a few minutes.

We would never absent ourselves too long because homosexuality still wasn't permitted. By our union, we were posing a threat to the image of our company and therefore risking our career.

But we wanted to try, in the sake of love.

We wanted to believe that fans would support our relationship and be happy for us. Because after all, one way or another, the truth would come to light.

We managed for a couple of months to keep this affair a secret until that day.

It was his birthday. We were both staying at the dorm for the evening. I had planned a little date to celebrate and had made up an excuse for the rest of the band to be outside and unaware of our whole story.

The day had started well. We had decided to bake the cake together mixing our favorites flavors in order to please both of our tastes. The cake was gigantic and covered in bright red strawberries. Just remembering it still makes me salivate!

Since we couldn't go out because of the risk of a photographer spotting us and starting a scandal, we had decided to stay home and play some video games.

As the night went on, we grew tired and decided to go to sleep.

 _We obviously did more than sleep, but for the sake of this child's purity, let's not talk about that._

This probably was the best day of my life. Everything was going well and we both were the happiest.

I never thought that it would end so soon.

The next day, we woke up to a guy shouting and cursing.

As I opened my eyes still puffy from the lack of sleep, I saw a man, fists crisped, saliva dripping from his mouth, standing by my side of the bed.

Thinking I was dreaming, I didn't react at first. Pinching myself, persuaded it was a dream, I blanched as the pain surging from the place where my fingers had captured my skin came to me.

"Who are you and what are you doing here" I shouted as I tried at the same time waking up my boyfriend.

The heavy sleeper that he was. He wouldn't wake up at once.

The stranger than looked me up and down.

"If you are naked with my son under these covers, I swear that I will kill you."

"You are…"

At the enunciation of these words, he woke up and stared at me bewildered.

When his stare met his fathers, his face suddenly grew redder.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

"Doesn't matter at the moment. Did you sleep with that ******?"

You must understand that we both still were young at that age. Plus, his father had an extreme influence on his choices. Lacking self-confidence and knowing his dad wouldn't approve of it he didn't answer his question.

"You freak, if my stupid bastard of a son cannot answer my question, then you will!"

"Sir… How should I tell you this…? You see we both are"

"Did you sleep with my son or not? Yes or no"

"yes" I muttered.

"What? I didn't hear you. If you sinned, be a man and assume your wrongs."

"YES" I yelled.

"You son of a… You are dead! Infesting my son with such disgusting ideas. Perverting his pure soul with your foolish and wrong desires. Stealing his innocence… How will he find a suitable woman now that his reputation has been dirtied by your filthy being… Humans like you should be castrated and integrated in asylums…"he yelled

"Let me reason you a bit" whispered his father in a deadly manner.

Before any of us could do anything, he had stroked me in the face with his fist.

My vision blurry, I wasn't prepared for the second blow that landed on my stomach, nor the third one which broke some of my ribs.

As he was about to hit me for the fourth time, a hand stopped him.

"Dad, stop. This is my fault. He didn't do anything wrong."

But he wouldn't listen. Freeing himself from the grip of his own child he punched me twice. Once in the face, the other below the stomach.

I felt the air leaving my lungs as I convulsed under the pain and clutched my stomach in my hands.

A small trickle of blood burgeoned from my lips which had already started to swell.

"Disgusting pig, filthy piece of crap. Eat this and this you **** sucker" he screamed as he gripped and pulled my hair while hitting me some more.

"DAD STOP! You are hurting him. Stop, please I am begging you." My boyfriend cried as he pulled uselessly at his dad's shirt.

"I come to visit you on your birthday and I find you acting like a total *****"

"Dad, I love him, please stop hurting him, please." He kept on screaming.

"Dress yourself."

"Not before you stop hitting him because of me"

"Dress. Yourself"

"No"

Pushing me hardly against the wall he raised his fist ready to punch his son in the face. As he aimed for the nose, I jumped on top of him, stopping him just in time.

Outraged, his dad stroked me with his elbow on the hip. My grip flailing, he pushed me off him and whacked my head against the nearest table.

The corner of it being pointy, my eye landed on it.

With the force of the impact, it costs it to me.

The pain that it produced was so unbearable that I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I was lying in a hospital bed. Doctors were surrounding me and gawking, anxiousness written all over their faces.

"Mister Kim, while unconscious, we had to proceed to a small operation. I am sorry to inform you that you have lost half of your eyesight."

"Where is he?" I screamed, looking for my boyfriend. The guy that I loved was nowhere to be seen.

At that moment, I was sure he was dead. I was certain his dad had ended his life.

"If you are talking about a young guy dressed all in black, he just left. He told us to give you this letter and not to give you any information concerning his current location."

It was a goodbye.

And somehow, it hit me harder than the pain, the sufferance of losing one of my eyes.

"Give it to me. NOW" I screamed losing my temper.

I snatched the piece of paper crumpled and still wet from tears, from their voracious hands, and not realizing my physical condition yet , I started reading.

 _Dear Taehyung,_

 _I am sorry to inform you that I will in no possible case be able to ever see you again._

 _My dad and I made a compromise. He told me he would not bother you if I got you out of my life completely._

 _I enjoyed the short amount of time we had together. Know that I will treasure these small souvenirs of us to the grave._

 _I will always love you even though I won't be able to ever pronounce these words to you in my human living life._

 _So until, as a lone star I reunite with your infinite sky, please promise me to forget about me and find happiness._

 _I never should have told you what I felt toward you. It would have spared you from such pain._

 _I will never be able to tell you how much I am sorry for all of this._

 _I will pay for the crimes I committed by missing you for the rest of my days._

 _Goodbye._

 _Jungkook_

I didn't eat or sleep for three days. I didn't even bring up the courage in me to look at the atrocity of my scar in a mirror.

I didn't even wonder of what my future would be now that I was a useless and broken corpse.

On day four, I received the visit of my ex-band comrades as the CEO came in and announced me that I could no longer be part of the kpop industry because of my handicap. He had said so while pointing at my missing eye. An ounce of pity was perceptible in his eyes, but it had vanished as soon as it had arrived.

-I wish you a good life, he had said and went.

My comrades had hugged and cried with me for hours on end, but for him.

He was nowhere to be seen.

I felt a hole grow in my chest. And even wondered what was the meaning of my existence. But a part of me still couldn't believe everything had turn to such crap in a so feeble amount of time.

Alone at last, I had seized a mirror and practically fainted at the horrendous slice that marred the side of my head. The table had sliced deep in my skin and left a bright red line that crossed half of the left side of my face. And the glass eye sitting in my eye socket looked nothing like the natural one that sieged there before.

I didn't even have the energy to cry at that moment. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up. Grow old in dreamland and disappear, not missed by anyone.

And did so for about half a year.

As I grew better, slowly reassembling the pieces of my shattered being, I decided to reconnect with the world slowly.

I brought up the courage to open the nearest television in my all white room and concentrate on the state of our actual cruel world.

I simply saw the news of a popular couple pass on.

His name was written all over the place beside some girl I did not know. The label said they would be getting their first child soon.

I went back into darkness for another six months after that.

I don't even know how I survived.

I eventually managed to get permission from the doctor to leave the hospital.

I was glad.

How long had it been since I had felt the comforting warmth of the sun on my skin? How long had it been since I had attempted a smile?

I did not know.

I had lost all notion of time.

I had stopped living. I was rotting away and yet, whenever I closed my eyes, he would be by my side, the words scribbled on the paper printed in the cells of my brain. Tattooed forever.

I couldn't help but hate him for a while. Think that all of the time we had spent together, everything we had shared, had just been a lie.

But, his father kept on reminding me that things would have been different if he hadn't been so close minded.

If only.

I had known since the beginning that our love was doomed.

But he had brought hope and light in my life.

A silent promise of a chance at a happy future.

I started going out more often. But every time I would say hi to a person, she would run away screaming at the sight of my scar.

The person that I used to be had vanished, was erased, like ashes blown away by the wind.

And so, I decided that since everybody wanted me gone, I might as well do as they wish.

So I disappeared.

I came here to forget and to start anew. Without anyone, without a house.

Fresh.

A bit of money to buy the strict necessary.

Until I wouldn't have anything left. Then would I finally abandon and let myself become the sky. The home of the lone star.

But you came into my life and made me believe that maybe the reason I was still here was because I still had a reason to persist. To fight against all these opponents that wanted to bring me down so badly.

-X-

"Thank you for entering my life." Tae whispered.

"I love you" whispered the toddler.

"And I do too. I wish I had a son like you."

"It might not be too late for that" smiled the kiddo.

Tae had tears streaming down his face as he ruffled the kid's hair.

Suddenly, he heard movement coming from behind him.

Afraid of who it might be, he pressed the kiddo in a bear hug and looked straight behind him ending face-to-face with…

With…

With…

With…

"Hey…" whispered Jungkook as he slumped on the floor.

"So it really is you" he added crying hard.

"Papa, I present you, Taehyung, my second papa" Kyo murmured crying too.

"Thanks Kyo for the presentations." Said Jungkook attempting a small smile.

"You named your kid…"

"I couldn't forget you. I… I made my ex-girlfriend's life hell as she thought I loved her. For so many years I endured that pain. Thinking it was all I deserved for ruining your life. I tried acting and pretended I loved her, but every time I closed my eyes, I could only see you and it hurt. It hurt."

"Such a beautiful kid…"

"So kind, and thoughtful…Just like his dad."

" Tae… Can I narrate the end of this story" Jungkook whined as he brushed tears away from his eyes.

" Ah… yeah" Tae tried at a loss for words.

What was happening here. Where the gods on his side for once?

-X-

I was depressed. After my dad beat you up for good, pulling me away from you, he presented me a girl. Somebody that did not know a single thing about me.

She was sweet and so nice, it hurt to pretend in front of her. I didn't have a choice to do so in order to keep my career and to protect you at the same time.

Four months in the relationship, she announced me that she was pregnant. I was happy. As you know, I had always dreamed of being a dad and a great one. A father that was nothing like mine.

Somehow, our relationship got better after that. I started to find her tolerable. Not to mean that she was a pain before, but the fact that she bore my child somehow got us to be closer a bit. I think I would consider my affection toward her as strong as friendship. It never went beyond that.

Never more than what I felt for you.

A little while ago, we got into a fight. She confronted me after finding a box I had kept in our closet. In it were all of the pictures we had taken together. She found some in which we were kissing and decided to get the truth out of me.

I told her what I was.

And we eventually broke up because of it. She couldn't endure the pain of knowing I did not love her the way she did. But having encountered my dad on a few occasions, she pitied me and was less harsh on me.

When she left, I decided, finally, that I had enough. That I couldn't live like this anymore.

I couldn't hurt innocent people because of my dad's wishes.

And so, I met with him.

And spoke my mind.

I told him that I loved you and that if I ever found you again, I would never let you go. I would have you stay by my side and grow old together.

He told me that if I did so, he would never speak to me again and that I was banned from seeing the rest of my family ever again.

I answered him that you were my family and left.

I felt good and proud of myself for once because I had decided. I had made a choice for myself.

I had chosen my path to happiness.

But I still needed to repair what was broken.

The first step was to finish that music contract and end it for good. The second was to be there for my son, the third one was to apologize to Chae.

I was dreaming of the fourth one, but never thought it could come true.

-X-

"What have you accomplished so far?" muttered Tae.

"Only the third step. Luckily, she found a guy that loves her right. I should be able to work out the first and the third in the next months. As for the fourth, depending on you, I might be able to accomplish it tonight."

"If what my son told me is true" Jungkook added.

"What did he say?"

"That you were still waiting for me. Is he right?"

"He is."

"You would forgive me and take me still as your boyfriend?"

"I always considered you as my boyfriend. We never properly broke up anyway."

"Well… I am afraid I have to tell you that you will never be my boyfriend again" Jungkook sighed.

"But Papa! WHY! I hate you right now!" screamed Kyo.

"I tell you that I still love you, that I forgive you, and that's how you reply to me? By ending things properly this time?" Tae asked frustrated and hurt.

"Exactly." Jungkook answered with a small smile.

"Is it because of my scar? Am I that ugly to look at?" whimpered Tae.

"You are still as beautiful as before. It has nothing to do with that. Plus, if you were that scary do you really think my son would have approached you?"

Tae didn't answer and turned around trying to hide his tears.

"I don't want your pity. I'm leaving. It was nice seeing you." Tae blurted out disgusted.

"I'm coming with you" screamed Kyo.

Jungkook crouched in the snow and reached inside his jean pocket for a ring he had purposely hid from the sight of his kid.

A ring he had saved for the day he would see again the only guy that would ever be worthy of wearing it.

"Tae, before you go" he said as he saw him marching away slowly.

"The reason… why I don't ever want to call you my boyfriend again is because I have been dreaming from the first day that I met you till now of addressing you as my husband."

"What is it you said" yelled Tae.

"Will you marry me?" asked Jungkook.

"Are you for real?"

"Yes"

"You said you wanted to get married when you would be a hundred years!"

"It feels like I have waited a hundred years to be with you. I think I respected my word."

"You love me?"

"yes."

"You think I still am attractive?"

"Kyo, could you please press your fingers to your ears for a second?"

"Yes papa!"

"I'll signal you when you can take them off"

"Okay"

"So, where was I? Ah yes, I think you look sexy as hell. Good enough for you?"

"You promise?"

"Yes and I really mean it" he answered as tears strolled down his cheeks.

Kyo looked at his dad's signal and took off his hands from his ears.

"Repeat that proposal again?"

"Kim Taehyung, love, will you marry me?"

"Say that you love me and I'll answer you."

"I love you Tae."

"You weren't able to say that before"

"That's because I hadn't realised how important those three little words were. I hadn't known back then the meaning hidden behind them."

"Can I kiss you?" Tae inquired.

"Darling, to do so, you have to say yes to my marriage proposal."

"Dummy, you already know my answer." Tae replied bending down to kiss him.

"Hmm, Kyo hasn't heard nor have I. Right son?"

"Just say yes daddy number two!"

"Yes" Tae whispered.

"What? I didn't hear you… C'mon are you that ashamed?"

"Why you…YES,YES, YES,YES, I'll marry you. You could ask me a thousand times and I would still marry you!

"You may now kiss the groom" shouted Kyo happily.

And so they did.

* * *

So, this is really the end. Thanks for the support! I really enjoyed the experience of writing a diverse couple style story. I might try it again in the future. Anyway, stay tuned for new updates on my upcoming new stories! See ya somewhere else and hopefully soon!


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